ELDERS, STOP IT!

[A 4 MINUTE READ]

At this point in my life, it’s hard not just to say what I see. I’ve been around long enough, made enough mistakes, and watched enough patterns repeat themselves to recognize what’s really going on.

I notice things most people don’t. I feel what others brush aside. And I can usually sense the consequences of choices before they play out. I’m not interested in impressing anyone, convincing anyone, or proving anything. That phase of life is behind me. I’m an Elder now.

What I am interested in is sharing what I’ve learned, not as “the answer,” but as an invitation. A nudge to stop and think. Maybe even looking at something you’ve taken for granted in a new way.

I write plainly because I see clearly. And I hope that somewhere in what I share, you see something that speaks to your own experience or even shifts how you move forward from here.

DISCOVERY, INSIGHT, REPORT

Spend a little time scrolling through Substack, Medium, LinkedIn, or Facebook. Or ask ChatGPT or Claude about “aging,” “elders,” or “growing old.” A pattern pops out pretty quickly.

The conversation around aging is starting to change. It’s not just about decline and retirement anymore. More and more, people are talking about passing on hard-earned lessons, the freedom that comes with age, and the new possibilities that open up later in life.

And yet… beneath all of that, there’s this uneasy truth: the people we most want to reach (younger generations) often aren’t listening. The wisdom we’ve gathered over a lifetime just hangs there, unheard and unvalued. And that’s a loss for them and for the world.

If your words don’t land, it’s rarely because they’re untrue. It’s because they’re landing in ears trained not to hear them. Until our culture sees wisdom as a source of guidance rather than a marker of irrelevance, much of what we have to offer will stay trapped inside an “old people’s echo chamber.”

Right now, we’re speaking into a room that isn’t tuned to our frequency. And wisdom unheard might as well not exist.

So here’s the real question: How do we create a listening in younger generations, a genuine curiosity, so they want to hear what we have to say?

CEASE AND DESIST

Let’s start with what not to do.

Stop trying to prove your value to those outside our age group.

Every time we try to justify our worth, we chip away at the authority and quiet presence that make us Elders in the first place. And by “younger generations,” I’m not just talking about teenagers. I mean Gen X, Boomers, even older Millennials: the people now running companies, shaping culture, and making decisions.

When we go out of our way to promote “the value of aging,” it often reads as doubt, desperation, or defensiveness. That’s exactly the story ageism wants to tell. And that robs us of the natural respect we command when we act from a deeper place, from consciousness, integrity, values, and purpose, instead of seeking approval.

Those of us growing old are listening now, because we actually want to. Once, we saw aging as something to endure. Now we see it as a stage of growth, influence, and contribution.

This shift (this broader view of what’s possible in later life) is powerful. It works beautifully among us. It deepens our sense of meaning, expands our appreciation of life, and strengthens our self-worth. But outside that circle? It doesn’t land. Most of the world still doesn’t see it or care.

The truth is, when we try to speak into the listening of ageism (when we argue, prove, or explain), we end up reinforcing the very thing we’re trying to dismantle.

If the goal is to have our wisdom heard, proving the beauty of aging isn’t the way. It doesn’t open their listening. It shuts it down.

WHAT ALTERS LISTENING IS PRESENCE

Let’s stop trying to prove our worth. Really, just stop. It’s a losing game. Instead, let’s focus on something infinitely more powerful: presence, because presence changes everything.

An authentic Elder’s presence alters how people listen.

Think about it: who would you be in the presence of Nelson Mandela? Gandhi? Jane Goodall? Eleanor Roosevelt? Bruce Springsteen? Brené Brown?

That kind of presence shifts something inside you. It changes how you stand, how you speak, how you relate, and most of all, how you listen. The space you create for their words is entirely different.

Look at Desmond Tutu. His impact didn’t come from shouting the loudest. It came from how he showed up. That quiet, unwavering presence had weight. It sculpted rooms and moved nations.

And yes, presence works in the darker corners too. We’ve all seen how a powerful presence can bend politics and twist public will. Presence has real force, for better or worse.

Presence isn’t about charisma or cleverness. It’s not a performance. It’s a state of being that radiates from the core of who someone is. In Elders, it shows up as calm confidence, grounded purpose, and a kind of inner alignment you can feel even before they speak. There’s humility in it, and humor too, because deep down they know how little they really know.

Presence doesn’t shout. It doesn’t demand. It commands. It cuts through noise, judgment, and distraction, shaping the field around it without needing to win an argument.

Would you try to out-debate the Dalai Lama? Get self-righteous with Ruth Bader Ginsburg? Lecture Malala? Of course not. In their presence, you’d show up as your best self: open, curious, ready to hear.

That’s the secret: when you cultivate presence, you don’t have to prove anything. Your being is the proof. Presence is how Elders change the listening so that wisdom can finally land.

CONCLUSION

When older people step fully into Elderhood, they’re no longer dismissed as irrelevant or outdated. They emanate something: a groundedness, a steadiness, an unmistakable “something” that quiets the noise and opens the channel for their voice to be heard.

And make no mistake: people want what Elders have. They want the peace. They want the equanimity. They want the self-awareness, the clarity, the perspective. They want that sense of inner alignment that says, “I know who I am and why I’m here.”

Presence is the delivery system for wisdom. It’s what makes others lean in instead of tune out.

INVITATION TO EXPERIENCE ELDER PRESENCE

“Elderly or Elder,” A Panel Webinar

There’s only so much you can learn about Elderhood from books, posts, or conversations. At some point, you have to feel it.

Being in the presence of an authentic Elder isn’t an intellectual experience. It’s visceral. Something deep in you stirs. That quiet, steady power you sense in them starts to wake up in you. Clarity, courage, and purpose aren’t just ideas anymore. They’re right there, alive and accessible.

That’s why this panel isn’t another webinar about aging. It’s an invitation to experience what happens when real Elders speak, act, and simply are in the room. It’s a chance to see how presence changes the way you listen, and how that new listening can shift the way you live.

If you’ve ever felt there’s more to aging than decline… if you’ve sensed there’s a deeper, more purposeful way to grow old… or if you’re ready to explore the power and peace that only Elderhood can offer, this is where you start.

Join us. Sit in the presence of those who have nothing to prove and everything to share. Let their presence awaken your own.